Garnet

A week and a half ago, my uncle Garnet died. He had been sick for a long time, and it was a steady decline, but it was still difficult to process. Garnet, who is my Dad's brother, lived a couple of doors down from us and lived on the land we all call "The Farm." My Dad and Garnet have been farming partners for decades and it's rare to see one without the other.

My uncle was very private, he didn't even want anyone to know that he was at the end of his life. I'm grateful that I was able to visit him while I was in Boxall for Christmas and he was still laughing and joking, shaking his head at Allison who was running around his house asking if he had any snacks.

It's always hard missing the fun stuff at home, Christmas, Thanksgiving, or birthdays, but not being home when the bad stuff happens is when I most feel the distance between my hometown and Kansas.  Garnet didn't want a funeral, and I was selfishly hoping he would have one so I would have a reason to go back to Boxall. Funerals (to me) are so important. It gets everyone's cry out and then you can go have sandwiches and laugh. It's so symbolic to life moving forward.

If there was a funeral, I would talk about how when we were kids and my parents would be on a trip or away for the weekend, my brother and I would be left in the care of the residents of the farm - my grandparents, uncle Garnet, and uncle Jim. My uncle Garnet had to give up his bed and I remember laying beside Fraser and us talking about how creaky the old house was, and then taking turns playing with Garnet's wind up alarm clock, then getting anxious because we didn't know how to fix the time.  I would talk about how any time I had a photo assignment in high school I'd go to the farm to take pictures and Garnet would always look at me like I was crazy, going into the trailer to take "artsy" shots of the corn bins. Nathan told me that he took Allison to the farm once to look for my Dad, the two of them were wandering around, Allison playing as she walked, when suddenly Garnet appeared, walking out from the corn rows. Nathan said he'd never been so startled.

My Dad's family is really steady. There aren't many surprises and I (like to) think I get  my predictability and routine from their side.  So when someone who is always there isn't there anymore, it creates a deep sadness because life, and home, don't quite look the same anymore.

Garnet Luke Stinson