Starting At Home

This is a bit of a personal post, but it was something that was so overwhelming for me today. When I turned on the TV this morning and saw the horrible news from Connecticut about all those children being killed in their classroom I just cried. I was so sad to think of those poor parents getting those heartbreaking calls and the fear and then guilt of those that didn't know if their child was OK, then to find out they had been spared.

Where my sadness turned to frustration was when I turned on my computer and my facebook news feed was flooded with status' that said things like, "praying for the families", "I'm holding my children extra tight tonight because I couldn't imagine them not being here," "I couldn't imagine the hurt of the parents," etc. All of these points were valid, but what bothered me was how many of these people knew that I had a child who died and have never said these words to me. My facebook community is small, those I share my story with are people I consider friends. I was disappointed that several of them who never contacted me could say to complete strangers (who would never hear their words) what I really needed to hear 7 months ago.

It made me start to think about how important it is to connect with a community. How sad is it that we have people standing beside us who are suffering and we don't comfort them instead we feel more comfortable typing words that those in pain will never hear.

Of course I believe that prayer should be bestowed upon the families, and maybe it was selfish to think of my own journey through the grief today. I feel so deeply for those parents and I'm thankful everyday that I'm one day further from the initial LOSS DAY because each day makes me a little stronger, but it was painful for me to see my experience as not newsworthy, not worthy of of an opportunity to comfort.

This week at Wornall Road Baptist Church, the names of those murdered in Kansas City were applied to the crosses that line the church yard. On December 20, the church will once again host the Longest Night, an event that focuses on families who have lost family or friends due to violence in Kansas City.

I think this is such a wonderful event and I'm so proud to be a part of a church that feels so deeply for the losses of others.Our pastor always says that we have to start in our own homes, in our own communities. At first I was uncomfortable going into Southwest, the highschool that Wornall partners with. Maybe I felt awkward that we were feeding them before games when JM told us that some of them didn't have enough to eat on a daily basis. But pushing through that uncomfortableness, I've had some really cool memories at that school. I've met and got to know a lot of the students, helped with a cheerleading routine, and taken team pictures for the last 2 years. I think of how different my relationship with my new friends, my church, and my community would be if I had of missed an amazing opportunity for compassion.