Transfer

Today after my morning visit, Allison's nurse said there was talk of Alli being transferred today. There was another baby due to go ahead of her but Alli was more mature and was moved to the top of the list. The charge nursed called to confirm the the rumors at 1130am that she would be going to St,Thomas at 230pm! We didn't have much time to clean and pack up our room but we managed to get it all done so that we could see her off at the hospital (and say goodbye to some wonderful friends) and then meet her at her new home shortly after she arrived!

I wanted to surprise my mom with her arrival and when I walked into her office she told me that she had just seen an incubator being wheeled into an elevator (it was covered) and she told the person beside her, "that's not my granddaughter but she should be coming soon!"

The last two days in the NICU have been really difficult because Allison's nurse was Nora, John's primary. It was strange because I was happy to see her and trusted her completely with Allison because she was an amazing second mother to my second born, but I had a hard time being around her. I found myself more emotional and struggled with not wanting her around me- which is so terrible to say! I felt so guilty because she (literally) held my hand through some of the toughest moments of my life- she heard John's final heartbeats and told us he had left us. It was a strange stir of emotions.

And just then that passed....let's do the walk that lead us to where Michael was born! It was a rough couple of days to be so happy and reminded of so much saddness. Going up to the third floor of the St. Thomas hospital, I saw so many familiar faces, several who were there the night I delivered. I know that those who have seem me experience loss share completely in my joy but I struggle to include then because with that inclusion brings the memories.

I'm trying to just focus on the fact that we're closer to home and Allison is doing so well. She weighed in at 6 pounds 3 ounces tonight!