Lilacs

On Thursday I met with some friends at the Plaza Library for toddler story time. It was packed with kids and moms and the leader of the group had a great personality. The program is to sing songs, read stories, and then do a craft. During the second song I noticed my friend Beth, who was sitting next to me, was crying. I looked to her and she said, "This was Phoenix's favorite song." I gave her a side hug and held on to the end of the song. It's funny the things that trigger grief, even a song about fish and bubbles.

Last week I was playing in the backyard with Allison when I smelled a familiar fragrance. Our neighbor's lilac bushes had bloomed and the scent was everywhere. I ran into Lois later in the day and she told me to feel welcome to come over anytime to pick some for our house. I said I would but it took almost a week for me to go.

Cutting lilacs remind me of the day of the boys' funeral when I picked lilacs from my parents plants for the tables for the reception after. My friend Vanessa had arrived early that day to help set up the backyard and the memory was so overwhelming that I immediately reached out to Ness to share the memory with her (knowing she'd know what to say..and she did).

After a little cry, I just thought about how I want lilacs to remind me of a great friend that I have, and not the things I've lost. So today I went next door to pick a big bouquet and fill my house with the scent of lilacs.